Dual....:-)
you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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