So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
