he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
