Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
