True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
