that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
