i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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