yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
