Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
