he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
