Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
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