I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
