I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I need to sanitize my soul.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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