yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
