I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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