Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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