Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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