I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
