she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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