i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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