Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
