I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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