I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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