I can text with my tongue
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize
