Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
