the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
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