I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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