Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
