I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
this will be a night to untag.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
