Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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