If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
