I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
