Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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