Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
