He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
