If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
