He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
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