sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
