lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
