Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
My dick has a subreddit
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
