What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
porn star boner night. come get it.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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