Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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