Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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