awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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