My first STD was from a foam party
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
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