why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
