I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
