Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
