My nipple is on Facebook.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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