y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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