so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
