Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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