I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
