No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
