I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
