i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
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