He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
