did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
