It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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