yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
